Introduction Spoiler: Saint Nick's Cantata INTRO (Spoken Word): Ho Ho Ho! VERSE: A time for tinsel, a time for toys A time for the simplest familial joys In a year plagued by heartache and tragedy Santa returns with this heartfelt rhapsody Let me remind you of the times That were good this year Let me spread to you, my dear Some holiday cheer CHORUS: There were simpler days, simpler times When sex with a gorilla would keep us alive When plant-bread creatures kept a beat to our jive And when the three-headed dogs would hump flowers forever When eagles would soar, when Sean Penn would keep us together And even when the big, bad world is put on the naughty list We can always remember the times it made cheeriest VERSE: All of the pleasure that I can give you Amidst this swirling white snow Is in reminding you of where you came from On this day that we, together, have sown BRIDGE (Spoken Word): Remember your past and be mindful of your future Be thankful for your loved ones, and live in the present And when life gives you cookies... DUNK THEM IN MILK FOR OL' SAINT NICK! CHORUS (Repeat x2) OUTRO (Spoken Word): Ho Ho Ho! We can feel the love, this holiday season. ...It's always a pleasure to interact with you, my dear ZEJian townsfolk, around these most auspicious of times, spreading my holiday cheer from my great jello bowl, straight to your hearts. Despite the strife that 2016 has bore- indeed, for many of us more-so than any other year thus far -I encourage you to remember that your greatest strengths here, on ZEJ, lie in your collective life as a community. Regardless of what divisiveness I've seen here and all around the world here in the North Pole, you are brothers and sisters, and have remained steadfast in your basemost human sentiments of togetherness through thick and thin. It brings a tear to this jolly boy's eye when I see you all, still growing, still learning from one another, and still coming together three years running for a grand Secret Santa event if there ever were one! Ho HO! What am I thankful for this year, you might ask, here at the homestead? Well, after an extensive bout with the "Ho He Has", I've worked that all out in therapy since 2015's Secret Santa escapades thanks to funding from the Missus... and really, with a reformed Bumble in the yard helping to trim many a tree betwixt amongst the Candy Cane Forest and elves working in higher numbers with greater production than ever, good ol' Father Christmas here doesn't have much to complain about! If anything, all I ask is that you all leave me some fine cookies under your own trees when the time comes rearin' around... and that you all join in on trimming our very own ZEJian tree this year with your glorious sentiment of good tidings, here, in Secret Santa 2016! “What do I need to do?” With our wondrous introduction out of the way- with special thanks to our friend Zanty Claws for song-based inspiration, as always! -it's time to get down to the nitty gritty of what gets this Claus really rumbling about these charitable times! If you are rearin' to participate in ZEJ's Third Annual Secret Santa event, all you've gotta do to get this lovable fruit cake of fantastical freshness in the know is make a post in this topic letting me know that you're all squared-away and ready to participate in this time of wonder and jolly joy-makin'! From there, I'll add you to my special, ZEJian-only list of kiddarinos that make this ol' Claus sing. As always, in your post, you should also give me the skinny on just what you’re interested in receiving this Christmas (gift-wise, such as a book, CD, or video game, a piece of artwork or fan fiction of a roleplay character or something else, an act of charity on your behalf, or whatever makes you jolly)! If you are just cool as a snowperson with receiving your present by mail, then you should also let your dear ZEJians and I know in your post! You can then Private Message ol’ Kringle your address, and I can pass it on to whatever fine individual happens to draw your name. Keeping things easy and breezy on the monetary side of this jingly-majig, you can bet that we are still maintaining our $25 price limit if you aim to purchase a gift for your jolly ZEJian neighbor! To make this gift wrap accessible to everyone (and to give this ol’ bub more time for reindeer games), it is decreed that all presents stay within a $25 price limit, if you so choose to buy a gift for your fellow ZEJ member! Lastly, but most certainly not least, we have to remember our deadlines! Just as nobody likes a skinny Santa, nobody really likes themselves a late Chrissymamass giftaroo! Ho Ho! To make sure the Polar Express makes all of its delivery stops in a timely manner this go-around the ZEJian sun, I would like to request that any and all members interested in partaking in this year’s Secret Santa event express their interest no later than Sunday, December 4th, 2016 at 11:59pm EST! We'll do it this way so that we can have all of our gift-giving assignments squared away by the 5th. Once that's said and done, y'all know that you can rock around the Christmas tree mighty finely on your own during this holiday season, and I'd recommend you do your holly jolly best to make sure your gifts are delivered in a timely manner once you are assigned a member to give it to! Keep in mind – you will be held responsible for this gift exchange! If I find out that anyone has signed up and hasn’t sent a gift of some sort, then they will be getting a fat lump of coal and a free ticket to the Faces of Santa: Revival event! After all, someone needs to show up to it... We have always been a couple of gifts short of a perfect quota during previous Secret Santa events, and while I haven't been privy to add anyone to my naughty list just yet, we need to make sure that everyone has something to open! It's only the jolly thing to do! So, my dear people of ZEJ, please do your best to give a present if you are also hoping to receive one! Deadline The final deadline to send me your presents (or, if you plan to send them a present via mail, a picture of the gift), is going to be Wednesday, December 21st, 2016. This should give you plenty of time to buckle down on some ol' Christmas spirit and find your assigned ZEJian something that'll make their heart fill with jolly. Whether you're going to be out shopping for or donating on behalf of your giftee - or perhaps taking some artful creativity by the reins for them, too - it's absolutely your time to make sure that you spread some holiday cheer this season by following through with your Secret Santa mission! As almost always, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season, ZEJ! Have a happy Ramadan! Or Eid al-Fitr! Saint Nicholas Day! Eid’ul-Aha! Fiesta of Our Lady Guadalupe! St. Lucia Day! Hanukkah! Three Kings Day! Boxing Day! Solstice! Kwanzaa! Omisoka! Yule! Saturnalia! Don’t Attract Krampus Day! Ho Ho Ho! Now, let’s sign up for some gift-giving action this side of Santa's belly!